Confusion

Thoughts are still in progress…

Since I hit my “twenties” I have been getting slower, lazier, and more tired. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. I kept hearing from anyone that I would be at my physical peak during my twenties. Well, I’m 28 now and I have not felt my “peak” since I was in high school.

I’ve recognized that while in high school I had some sort of routine to follow that would include physical exercise almost daily. I’ve certainly lost that routine since I’ve graduated college and started working for my life. I used to play basketball and lift weights, but I used to do it with friends (not on my own).

That’s what’s changed. Since I started working and dating I don’t make much time for friends as I used to. I cannot blame my spouse now, because it has always been my decision whether I hang out with friends. I’ve recently spoke with a co-worker about this situation and I’ve learned that I shouldn’t change “who I am” even after marriage. “Who I am” was the person who visits friends after work and up-and-go when something happens without confirmation from anyone. That’s not the case anymore.

This will get me into trouble: “Who I am” now is the person who feels like he has to do everything with his wife, so she doesn’t feel lonely (I have been trained to feel this way). It’s probably not fair to see things this way, because I do have so much time off from work when I am by myself and my wife is working that I should be able to do all these things that I “feel” I should be doing. I am probably carrying all of this guilty feelings when I am around her. It’s not fair to her and myself. I love my wife and all the experiences that we’ve shared. I just haven’t learned how to balance it all yet.

Well, back to the daily routine. This is a possible solution to my balancing act. With Debisha’s help we’ve come up with a routine that will help me get my physical exercise, time to organize myself, and time to perform husbandly/manly chores. Wow, I just threw in some topics that were not discussed. Bare with it.

Routine:

09:45am – 10:00am: Wake up

10:00am – 10:45am: Exercise

11:00am – 11:30am: Shower

11:30am – 12:00pm: Breakfast/brunch

12:00pm – 12:45pm: Play video games

I am not finished with this blog, I’m just tired of writing. I’ll be back…

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