Eph the Customers!

It’s not a very good title, but that’s how I feel right now.  I had a situation at work that really pissed me off.  I found myself getting way bent out of shape about it.  I can’t write all the details, but I can share a couple things.  I’m a web manager at my Center and I have to deal with constant web-related requests.  Upload this to the live server, fix this issue, fix my mistake, what goes where, put my high-level task in front of all your other tasks, etc.  The latest scenario is something that I haven’t dealt with before.

We have multiple servers on site, ones that handle static web content, another that handles classic ASP and legacy scripts and another that handles ASP.NET applications.  I’ve never dealth with ASP.NET so it was a learning experience.  Overall; one of our half web developers (content specialists and does web developing because of budget constraints) had something on her plate for months and I didn’t know about it.  About a week or so ago I got a request to upload these web app files live.  After some poking around I realized that these we ASP.NET files and it needs to go through our security check, etc.

The Frustration

I was totally in the dark about this application, and it now needs to go up ASAP and there is a lenghty process for it pass.  It’s a simple application though, but I was rushed to get information pulled together. I already have TONS on my plate and now I have to drop things (screw up my scheduled tasks) in order to fill this.  The person (whose name I can’t divulge) has some clout and this person always (not really, but it feels like it) cuts corners and doesn’t follow the rules and/or policies.  In the end I have to clean up her mess.

This current mess now involves a chain of people and I responded to her email, clearly upset with her.  She replied and I apologized for getting upset because of the lack of information she gave me.  I now found out that she’s considered a “customer” (because I’m a contractor) and more or less I have to continue taking her crap and not directly argue with her about how much of a crappy job she’s doing.  I have to use my diplomatic channels in order to not eph-up the delicate balance we have between contractors, subcontractors, and full-time employees.  This really sucks because I’m in a higher hierarchy than she is, but I’m NOT a full-time employee.  So; if she complains to her division director, it will make my hiring company look bad, etc.

Zen

So; now I have to think twice before ever displaying my frustration with her lazy ways.  It’s a good lesson and maybe I’ll handle it better, in the future, but right now – I’m mad as hell about it!  Being this upset about it helped me see how my anger is slowly getting out of control.  I need to apply more zen-techniques in order not to totally lose it.  I just spilled some coffee on my keyboard while writing this.  Another opportunity to keep myself under control. AARRGHHHH!  One of my zen-techniques is to write down what’s making me so upset.  I can get pretty blinded with rage if I don’t figure out what the core issue is.  My anger can be compared to a chain reaction.  Something will start it off and other things will add to the speed and intensity of the final product, an atom bomb.  So; here’s the post.  Enjoy taking a peek in my darkside.  We all have one, the only difference between you and me is, I’ll let you know about it.

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