Costello Buys a Computer
Before I share the “computer” version of this joke; above is the classic Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine on YouTube. One of my LUG guys shared this on our mailing list and I thought it was hilarious. I then shared it with some co-workers and I sarcastically asked one of them if they new this famous skit from Abbott and Costello. She honestly told me “no” and didn’t know who Abbott and Costello was. For a moment; I was in shock. Unfortunately; this is a confirmation that I am getting old. Is 30 the new 50?
Costello Calls to Buy a Computer from Abbott
- ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
- COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m! setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
- ABBOTT: Mac?
- COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou .
- ABBOTT: Your computer?
- COSTELLO : I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
- ABBOTT : Mac?
- COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou .
- ABBOTT : What about Windows?
- COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
- ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?
- COSTELLO : I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
- ABBOTT : Wallpaper.
- COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
- ABBOTT : Software for Windows?
- COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
- ABBOTT : Office.
- COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
- ABBOTT : I just did.
- COSTELLO : You just did what?
- ABBOTT : Recommend something.
- COSTELLO : You recommended something ?
- ABBOTT : Yes.
- COSTELLO : For my office?
- ABBOTT : Yes.
- COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?
- ABBOTT : Office.
- COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!
- ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.
- COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
- ABBOTT : Word.
- COSTELLO : What word?
- ABBOTT : Word in Office.
- COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.
- ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.
- COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?
- ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.
- COSTELLO : I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
- ABBOTT: Money.
- COSTELLO : That’s right. What do you have?
- ABBOTT : Money.
- COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?
- ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.
- COSTELLO : What’s bundled with my computer?
- ABBOTT : Money.
- COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?
- ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.
- COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
- ABBOTT : One copy.
- COSTELLO : Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
- ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
- COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?
- ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A few days later
- ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
- COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?
- ABBOTT : Click on ‘START’…
Now that I’ve been exposed to the harsh reality that I’m getting older, let me know if this was your first time being exposed to the famous Abbott and Costello comedy duo from the black & white days of television.
This Skit’s Ownership
Edited 05 October 2009. I recently got a comment from Tom King saying that he is the originator of this Abbott and Costello computer skit. He stated that it’s copy written and has no issues letting us use it as long as we link back to his site. I have to issues linking back to the source. I would like to make it known that I don’t know who Tom King is and in our SEO-driven world, this could be a ploy to get more traffic to his site. Oh well. Visit the link of the original skit here > http://twayneking.blogspot.com/2009/05/costello-calls-to-buy-computer-from.html
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
People with good sense of humour never get old.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
[...] Desert – “Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!” 27. Dexter from The Naughty Nineties – “Who’s on First?” 28. Trent from Swingers – “Vegas, baby.” 29. Forrest Gump from [...]
May 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
:O So mush Info :O
June 10th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Hi there, I found your blog via Google while searching for sites about computer games and your post looks very interesting for me.
August 4th, 2009 at 1:45 am
nice! i’m gonna make my own journal
October 5th, 2009 at 9:45 am
While I’m flattered someone thought this piece funny enough to put on this website, the material was written by me and copyrighted in 2004. I wrote the skit for a church talent show in 2004 and later posted it to a now defunct computer forum I was on at the time. It went viral in 2005 evidently. I’m just now finding it out. I rewrote the skit in 2009 to update the software references and posted it on my May 2009 weblog. I’ll be glad to grant you guys permission to use it, but please include a link to the complete, latest version copyrighted blog entry at:
http://twayneking.blogspot.com/2009/05/costello-calls-to-buy-computer-from.html
with the credit: (c) 2004 by Tom King – used by permission.
Thanks.
Tom King
October 5th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Marc,
I understand your skepticism and while I would like people to read my stuff on my own page, I’m also realistic about how hard it is to control ownership of anything you put out on the web. I’m not chastising anyone for using uncredited material. It’s the nature of the beast. If you don’t want to have your stuff swiped, don’t put it on the net!
For something like this, I’d at least like a by-line. This thing has not only been quoted on hundreds of blogs and humor sites, but has also been made into several Youtube videos and has been performed for at least 4 or 5 church amateur hours that I know of. It went viral in 2005 and 2006 during a time when the business I worked for collapsed in the wake of Hurricane Rita and my son died in his bedroom while I frantically did CPR on him. I didn’t discover how broadly it had traveled till just a few days ago.
If you’d like to know who I am there are 4 years of archived blog entries on my website at the link above and I have a pretty big Facebook site with photos and video and more blog entries.
Besides, I wouldn’t know how to drive traffic to my site anyway. I’ve been blogging for nearly half a decade and only have 5 followers for my blog. You can check the humor pieces I’ve done on the blog, however, and compare the styles. I don’t think you’ll feel so skeptical if you do.
I’m just sayin’
Tom King